Week 17 Predictions

St. Louis 17, Atlanta 41- Atlanta goes up 27-3 in the first half, pulls all their starters, and still scores two more touchdowns. With a Falcons win and a Panthers loss, the Falcons win the NFC South. Who saw that coming? Not Bobby Petrino.

Chicago 20, Houston 27- Must-win for Chicago to keep their hopes alive in the NFC North. The Vikings still have to lose to the Giants second-stringers, but hey... with Tarvaris Jackson, anything's possible (yes, anything- even four touchdown passes). But considering Chicago can't stop the pass and Andre Johnson can't really be covered by anyone, I give the Texans the edge.

NYG 20, Minnesota 31- The Giants won't play their starters for more than a half, even though they have absolutely nothing riding on this game. By contrast, the Vikings and Adrian Peterson can get into the playoffs with a victory over the defending champs.

Carolina 24, New Orleans 34- The Saints are just going to throw the ball 50 times to try and get Drew Brees the record. Hey, it's not as good as a playoff season, but at least it's something.

Cleveland 9, Pittsburgh 23- The Browns haven't scored a touchdown in the past 5 games. Make that 6.

Oakland 17, Tampa Bay 30- The Bucs managed to put themselves in a must-win situation in their final game by losing in spectacular fashion to the Chargers. Even then it probably won't be enough for the wild card.

Tennessee 24, Indianapolis 21- I'm sure everyone is thrilled to see a Jim Sorgi vs. Vince Young matchup. Oh wait, it's exactly like week 17 last year... without the playoff intrigue.

Detroit 13, Green Bay 28- PERFECTION!

New England 31, Buffalo 23- A loss eliminates the Patriots. Don't count on it against the floundering Bills.

Kansas City 16, Cincinnati 21- The 5 people watching this on TV will be sorry they wasted their time. Not to mention the other 5 in Paul Brown Stadium.

Jacksonville 20, Baltimore 27- If the Ravens win they get into the postseason and eliminate the Patriots. Sweet, sweet revenge for Bart "Flag Thrower" Scott after last year's 4th quarter, 4th down debacle.

Miami 24, NYJ 23- Chad Pennington's chance to make the Jets regret trading for a washed-out quarterback with an ego. I love how the Packers managed to structure the deal so they can still cheer for Favre; a playoff appearance means they get a second round pick instead of a third round pick.

Seattle 24, Arizona 17- Arizona has looked awful since winning the NFC West a few weeks ago, while Seattle is looking to go out with a bang after beating the Jets in Seattle and putting a serious damper on their playoff hopes.

Washington 17, San Francisco 27- Don't expect Washington to care too much about this one, as they're eliminated from contention. Clinton Portis probably won't play, while Mike Singletary reportedly will sign a multi-year deal to become the 49ers head coach. I like it.

Dallas 10, Philadelphia 7- Knowing the 2008 Eagles they'll suck again in what will probably be a weather game. Seriously, I wish both teams could lose so I will stop having to listen to announcers say the phrase "pre-season Super Bowl favorites" over and over again.

Denver 31, San Diego 37- The only good thing about this game is that both teams usually don't play defense, so it should be a shootout. Since it's in San Diego it probably won't be a weather game. Otherwise I question the flexing of the most anti-climactic division title game since we saw the Cardinals "clinch" the NFC West. That Denver can even be in a position to not win the division says a lot about their team. By the way, someone needs to remind all of the Chargers that you *can* tie in the NFL- a tie gives the division to the Broncos.