NFL Week 1

I just got back from the future, here's how week 1 turned out.

Detroit 24, Atlanta 10- Matt Ryan throws a touchdown to Roddy White and Jason Elam kicks a field goal. Falcons spend the rest of the afternoon on their half of the field.

Cincinnati 17, Baltimore 9- Three field goals from Baltimore Franchise Player Matt Stover is all they can muster behind Joe "Molasses" Flacco.

Seattle 24, Buffalo 28- 2 touchdowns for Marshawn Lynch and one each for Lee Evans and James Hardy.

NYJ 31, Miami 14- Noodle arm vs. The Fossil. Jets revamped offense pounds helpless Miami.

KC 10, NE 34- New England pulls their starters after going up 34-0 in the first quarter.

TB 27, NO 24- Monte Kiffin stifles Reggie Bust...er, Bush as well as Jeremy Shockey.

St. Louis 20, Philadelphia 31- McNabb to Westbrook all day. Chris Long injures McNabb in the 3rd quarter, out for the season.

Houston 14, Pittsburgh 28- Houston is the fashionable sleeper pick this year, too bad they aren't as good as the Steelers.

Jacksonville 17, Tennessee 10- Rivalry game, but probably a boring one. Lame Tennessee offense vs overrated Jacksonville defense. Side note: is Albert Haynesworth large enough to eat MJD?

Dallas 38, Cleveland 24- How can you not have a shootout with the crappy Browns defense? Cleveland won't make the playoffs this year either, by the way.

Carolina 13, San Diego 27- The LT show comes to Carolina. 3 TDs.

Arizona 31, SF 17- Frank Gore gets 5 carries and 10 receptions for two touchdowns. The rest of the Niners...not so much.

Chicago 10, Indianapolis 30- Peyton Manning and the Colts remind the Bears why they lost the Super Bowl.

Minnesota 17, GB 21- Ryan Grant runs for 27 yards total against the Williams brothers. Serves you morons right for drafting him in the second round in fantasy.

Denver 21, Oakland 24- Jamarcus Russell: 110 yards passing, 2 interceptions. Raiders running backs: 247 yards, 3 touchdowns. 2 touchdowns for Tony Scheffler.