Week 5 Predictions

Tennessee 23, Baltimore 20 - Oh look, these two teams are the same. League-leading defenses, both led by second-tier quarterbacks, not much of a threat on the outside, and strong running games. Wouldn't be surprised if this went to OT.

KC 20, Carolina 27 - As impressive as Larry Johnson's 198 yard performance against Denver was last week, the honeymoon should end against a strong Panthers front 7. The Panthers are looking to improve to 4-1 in surprisingly competitive NFC South.

Chicago 33, Detroit 17 - Bye week won't help the Lions, who look awful pretty much everywhere. The Bears are coming off of a big win against the Eagles at home and showed that they can play with the best teams in the league with a healthy defense.

Atlanta 13, GB 17 - Aaron Rogers or Matt Flynn should be able to take advantage of a weak Atlanta defense. Matt Ryan will once again show everyone that he's not ready to play against a real defense. However, if they "Wildcat" the ball to Michael Turner on every play...

Indianapolis 34, Houston 20 - This should be a high scoring game. Peyton Manning and Reggie Wayne have killed the Texans in recent years, and after the Colts bye week they should have their early season woes sorted out. The Texans had a nice showing against Jacksonville last week, but their defense (or lack thereof) is going to be their undoing.

San Diego 27, Miami 20 - San Diego's defense has looked horrendous as of late, but so has the Dolphins'. Apparently against the Patriots they forgot that their secondary is atrocious. People criticize Philip Rivers' lame showing against the Raiders, but the Raiders secondary is actually one of the few parts of their team that needs serious help.

Seattle 24, NYG 31 - The return of a real Seattle wide receiver should help Matt Hasselbeck move the offense a little better... if he has time to throw it. Not helping Seattle's case is Julius Jones' numbers against the Giants in the past 2 seasons with the Cowboys: games of 66, 48, 30, 24 yards and 0 touchdowns.

Washington 27, Philadelphia 31 - Brutal schedule for Washington with road trips to Dallas followed by Philadelphia, but such is life in the NFC East. The return of Brian Westbrook and Donovan McNabb healing his sore chest should be the difference.

Tampa Bay 17, Denver 27 - As we saw last week Denver lives and dies by the pass. Luckily for them, Monte Kiffin's Tampa 2 is weak in the secondary and even allowed Brandon Lloyd a 100-yard game. Brandon Marshall is just a little better than Lloyd, and the Broncos at home are tough to beat.

Buffalo 30, Arizona 24 - Arizona is honestly a different team at home, but why not keep riding the Bills' hot streak? Somehow they manage to become unstoppable in the fourth quarter. With Anquan Boldin probably out, the Bills "only" have to focus on Larry Fitzgerald and Steve Breaston. Look for the Bills to frustrate Kurt Warner's pass-first philosophy and take advantage of a very mediocre defense that was torched by Brett Favre for 6 touchdowns.

Cincinnati 13, Dallas 34 - Cincinnati's defense shouldn't present nearly the challenge that the Redskins did, and since TO wants the ball more the Cowboys are obligated to do so. I don't expect this one to be close, especially if Carson Palmer sits out for the second straight week.

New England 17, San Francisco 14 - Shockingly this could be the most interesting game of the week. San Francisco returns home after a pathetic road loss to the Saints, while the Patriots are coming off their bye full of ideas on how to stop Frank Gore after being embarrassed by the Dol... er, Ronnie Brown. As horrible as they showed in Week 3, I still don't think the Patriots defense is that bad. Although admittedly I would enjoy it if the 49ers creamed them.

Pittsburgh 24, Jacksonville 27- If anyone watched the Steelers on Monday night they can't possibly disagree that their offense looked positively awful. Even in the second half after Big Ben's "pep talk" they were nothing special. I can't imagine that their sieve of an offensive line and absence of Willie Parker and Rashard Mendenhall helps them beat the Jaguars at home.

Minnesota 20, New Orleans 38 - Drew Brees has shown that he is an elite quarterback no matter who his receivers are. Or maybe we should say "no matter who his receivers aren't" considering Lance Moore had a 2-touchdown 101-yard performance against Nate Clements in week 4. Oh wait, Nate Clements is an overpaid retard. Minnesota won't be out of the playoff race even if they lose, since the NFC North is (in my opinion) one of the worst divisions in the league, but a 1-4 start isn't looking good.

Bye: Browns, Jets, Raiders, Rams