What Is Pat Burrell Really Up To?

Phillies fans have been wondering for years where Pat Burrell's power has gone and why he never blossomed into a major power source in the Philadelphia lineup. Burrell hit 37 HRs in 2002 and seemed to be on the cusp of stardom, but it was all downhill from there. In 2003 Burrell batted .209 with 21 HRs in a dismal season. He bounced back somewhat in the next three seasons, particularly in '05 and '06 with 32 and 29 HRs, respectively, but his struggles are worse than ever this year. Burrell is currently hitting .211 with 8 HRs and the only thing he is doing well is taking pitches. He has walked 53 times already this year, putting him in 2nd place in the National League, above teammate and reigning MVP Ryan Howard.

Burrell has often been criticized for taking so many pitches and taking a seemingly passive approach at the plate. This approach has allowed him to maintain a .382 on-base percentage, despite his low hit-count, but it has made him useless to the Phillies. It has forced Charlie Manuel to move Burrell down to 6th in the lineup, when he even starts, which is becoming increasingly rare these days.

Why has Burrell stopped hitting and done nothing but walk? Perhaps he is trying to cut down on his strikeouts. If he has proven anything, it's that he is sensitive, so maybe he is responding to Hall of Famer Mike Schmidt's remarks. Schmidt said that players such as Burrell and the Reds' Adam Dunn "tick [him] off" because they strike out so much. Well to his credit, Burrell has cut down on strikeouts. In fact, he has 48 so far and if he continues his pace he will have more walks than strikeouts for the first time in his career.

If Burrell is putting on his best Mike Schmidt impression, he's not doing a great job. It's gotten to the point where I refer to every one of his at-bats as the Pat Burrell Called Third Strike Spectacular (or PBCTSS for short, though that's not much shorter...still working on that). No, it's not a Mike Schmidt impression. Burrell has a far nobler goal in mind.

My theory is that he wants to see every pitch in the majors by the end of his career. A gallant quest indeed. Think about it, he has taken an average of 4.15 pitches per at-bat (through Sunday), which is a lot when you consider nobody sees him as a threat to get a big hit anymore (proven by the number of intentional walks to Ryan Howard last year and this year when Burrell hit 5th in the order). Burrell has been put in a position to have numerous first-pitch fastballs come his way, but he has generally opted to take them and see what else is in the pitcher's arsenal. This supports my theory because any sensible power hitter would be sitting on that first-pitch fastball and swinging away.

By now Burrell has probably seen just about every pitch in the National League, though he hasn't been helped by his increasingly frequent time on the bench. For shame, Charlie Manuel. Burrell is just trying to live his version of the American Dream. The quest may live on though. In another clever and strategic manuever, Burrell's fielding has declined to the point that Manuel has taken to removing him in the late innings in favor of speedster Michael Bourn (who I really need to see more of, by the way. I love watching that kid run.) His poor fielding has led to the belief that he is only suited to play DH, thus necessitating a move to the American League. Brilliant. Playing in the AL would allow Burrell to see all new pitchers.

So there's your explanation Phillies fans. You may laugh now, but the joke will be on you when Pat Burrell releases Pat the Bat's Big Book of Every Pitch Ever (that may not be the final title, it's still in the works). Actually, the joke will be on me too...and the Phillies. Damn it.